I'm wondering whether the stasis-fridge would be a good or bad thing for childhood. People would put their babies in the stasis-fridge when they wanted a good night's sleep, so parents of babies everywhere would be happier and saner and more capable, but the babies would be babies for twice as long because they'd be in stasis for half their lives. Indeed, particularly stupid people would leave them in there for even longer, and a whole generation of the people we call chavs would take ten years to go from baby to toddler.

Then of course when they get to the toddler stage, people would put them in the fridge when they had a tantrum and take them out again when they felt like a hug, but the child would still be screaming and angry so would go straight back in. Said stupid people wouldn't understand why their children were always screaming, would decide even more than before that the child was just out to make their lives miserable, and child abuse cases among the stupid would increase massively. (Or, would be carried out by means of violence, rather than by means of turkey twizzlers.) Maybe nobody would ever grow above the age of two, except in places where people can't afford stasis-fridges. Then the adults in first world countries would die, electricity generation would stop, and these toddlers in the fridges would all come back to life and start getting out of the fridges. Meanwhile, people from third world countries would hear all these toddlers screaming as they sailed past in their boats and go and rescue these children.

World population would be dramatically reduced and carbon dioxide output would be decimated. I think we should invent this right now. Except that a substantial portion of the toddlers would subsequently undergo genital mutilation at the hands of their new adoptive parents, so maybe we shouldn't.

Also, the people who put their baby in the stasis fridge overnight would be letting themselves in for what must surely be an even worse torture: a jet-lagged baby. Hardly bears thinking about.

But to be awake at night such that somebody wants to put it in a stasis fridge, it must already not have a circadian rhythm to disrupt.

!!!but I just realised - if babies don't have night-time because they're in the fridge, then they won't develop circadian rhythms at all. EVERYBODY WILL BE LIKE ME IN THE FUTURE. Yahahaaaaa.

It seems like a suboptimal way to achieve a good night's sleep compared with what I currently do - bringing the baby into bed and feeding him when he's hungry in the night. As a nursing mother, I really don't want the baby missing time, as it would play havoc with my body too.

I could shut him in a room the other side of the house too when he cries, but I don't do that, and nor do most parents.

Oh yeah, I hadn't thought of that. So there are two ways of managing it:
1) Don't put your baby in the stasis fridge, and breastfeed if possible
2) Use a stasis fridge and feed nothing but formula after the first six weeks
This is turning into a pretty crap future...

3) Breast-pump and put that into the stasis fridge too.

4) Climb into fridge yourself. Get accomplice to defrost you when offspring has reached majority.

Status fridge bra. Of course.

Alternatively, be defrosted when unsupervised offspring burns down house...

Bah! Luddite!

Oh yeah, cunning plan. And it wouldn't even need warming up too, if you put it in quick...

A stasis fridge would be handy if you ran out of lemon-soaked paper napkins, too…

*reads it*
*reads it again*
*reads it a third time*
What??