I'm sorry if I've been rude or insensitive - FWIW, it was lovely to see you and a shame when you left early. I tend to experience the same phenomenon of getting left out of conversations at times, but this is easily explained by the fact that I'm not a geek and everyone else is. ;-)
feel free to ignore, but do you ever wonder if it's a self fulfilling prophesy?
I've learnt through years of observation that most people feel this way from time to time. It's normal. Just as I'm sure there are parties where you're on a roll and have a great night, there will always be some where you feel like getting your proverbial coat from the minute you walk in. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you've got work on your mind.
The trick as far as I'm concerned is not to admit to feeling this way (d'oh!) when it happens. I've noticed that this is not the first time you've written up a party experience in much these terms, and to be brutally honest, knowing someone analysed the situation in this way would put me off talking to them.
If you have a crap night, put it down to experience. Don't make people feel obliged to be nice to you on future occasions. There's no reason they won't be friendly unless you make it into an issue!
I'm sure self-fulfilling prophecy is part of it once it gets started. If nobody seems to want to talk to me, that'll put me in a bad mood and then of course people will continue not wanting to talk to me... And I am often tired, and that's probably part of it too.
"Don't make people feel obliged to be nice to you on future occasions."
Goodness, you seem to have severely misunderstood the point of this post! I'm not accusing people of being nasty to me, and I'm certainly not trying to guilt-trip or otherwise oblige them to pay me more attention in future. I mostly want to know whether I could be doing something differently.
"The trick as far as I'm concerned is not to admit to feeling this way (d'oh!) when it happens. I've noticed that this is not the first time you've written up a party experience in much these terms, and to be brutally honest, knowing someone analysed the situation in this way would put me off talking to them."
Err, hang on. You mean, you're sure everybody feels like that sometimes, but if someone says so then you know they feel like that and that puts you off them? Despite knowing they felt like that anyway because everyone does? I'm confused...
"Err, hang on. You mean, you're sure everybody feels like that sometimes, but if someone says so then you know they feel like that and that puts you off them? Despite knowing they felt like that anyway because everyone does? I'm confused...
Well look at it this way -- you know everyone's in the same boat. Isn't the best response therefore to deal with it privately when it happens?
I'm not saying I'm a fan of suffering in silence, but in this case I think that drawing attention to the issue may be causing greater suffering for you. This is because on whatever grounds you made this edit, people will now be feeling bad about their behaviour, and I dunno if that's the best way to tackle the issue!
As a rule of thumb, I'd say when you're in the mood, go for it, have a good time and chat to people. When you're not, don't beat yourself up about simply getting out of the situation and doing something else. Just my 2p.
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feel free to ignore, but do you ever wonder if it's a self fulfilling prophesy?
I've learnt through years of observation that most people feel this way from time to time. It's normal. Just as I'm sure there are parties where you're on a roll and have a great night, there will always be some where you feel like getting your proverbial coat from the minute you walk in. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you've got work on your mind.
The trick as far as I'm concerned is not to admit to feeling this way (d'oh!) when it happens. I've noticed that this is not the first time you've written up a party experience in much these terms, and to be brutally honest, knowing someone analysed the situation in this way would put me off talking to them.
If you have a crap night, put it down to experience. Don't make people feel obliged to be nice to you on future occasions. There's no reason they won't be friendly unless you make it into an issue!
"Don't make people feel obliged to be nice to you on future occasions."
Goodness, you seem to have severely misunderstood the point of this post! I'm not accusing people of being nasty to me, and I'm certainly not trying to guilt-trip or otherwise oblige them to pay me more attention in future. I mostly want to know whether I could be doing something differently.
"The trick as far as I'm concerned is not to admit to feeling this way (d'oh!) when it happens. I've noticed that this is not the first time you've written up a party experience in much these terms, and to be brutally honest, knowing someone analysed the situation in this way would put me off talking to them."
Err, hang on. You mean, you're sure everybody feels like that sometimes, but if someone says so then you know they feel like that and that puts you off them? Despite knowing they felt like that anyway because everyone does? I'm confused...
Well look at it this way -- you know everyone's in the same boat. Isn't the best response therefore to deal with it privately when it happens?
I'm not saying I'm a fan of suffering in silence, but in this case I think that drawing attention to the issue may be causing greater suffering for you. This is because on whatever grounds you made this edit, people will now be feeling bad about their behaviour, and I dunno if that's the best way to tackle the issue!
As a rule of thumb, I'd say when you're in the mood, go for it, have a good time and chat to people. When you're not, don't beat yourself up about simply getting out of the situation and doing something else. Just my 2p.