It isn't a knife at all:

Ah, thank you. I guess like a butter knife's butter knife, the sort of knife that a butter knife would carry around because it was non-sharp, to the point of not having any blade.

Now I'm just imagining something like this:

Narrator: Whenever I learn a new skill I concoct elaborate fantasy scenarios where it lets me save the day.
Woman: Oh no! The killer must have followed her on vacation!
Woman: But to find them we'd need to search through 200MB of emails looking for something formatted like an address!
Man: It's hopeless!
Offpanel voice: Everybody stand back.
Offpanel voice: I have a multitool!
<<SPREADER!>>
Everyone: <<cheer>>
(http://xkcd.com/208/)

I don't want to touch my food with something that's been sitting in my trouser pocket unwashed for years on end, and neither do I want to put it back in my trouser pocket to fester once it's covered in food!

I had something witty to say about how you were logical, but I've forgotten it. But yes, that would be a good plan :)