I imagine that if I got any chocolate as a result, half of it would contain glutinous biscuit filling, and I'd probably still be unwilling to eat the other half since I'm currently trying to reverse the slight upward trend in my weight. But it's a lovely thought :-)

Well use your imagination - you have the power - you just have to develop an evil genious laugh to go with it.

Blimey, I'd be demanding all sorts of things...

Demand a list of non-trivially gluten-free items available from shops in his locality. It'll raise awareness of the issues, and you may learn something interesting. He gets one step of instructions for each such item listed.

That's brilliant!