The amount of emails I get wanting linkage from UK Fetish Info (http://ukfetish.info/) is incredible. Mostly 'adult toy' sites, who are unable to grasp that their products are not 'fetish', just 'sexual', and all of whom seem to think I should feel there is some benefit to me in linking my high-ranked and near-unique site to their unheard of and hugely generic one.

To date, the most common response to my carefully worded emails declining their offers has been a torrent of abuse.

One of them once replied with a note thanking me for the explanation, and said they would be linking to me anyway if that was alright. I was so impressed I linked them after all, in a new category of links that I made up on the spot ('people who link to us').

Generally though, the whole 'reciprocal links' thing really annoys me - it's so naively simplistic to assume that if a link from A->B is of benefit to A's readers, then a link from B->A must be a Good Thing™ for B's readers as well.

The best email conversation I've had on the matter so far went:
"We'd like a link"
"You can't have one" (inappropriate content)
"We'll pay"
"We don't accept paid advertising, we're an unbiased reviews site"
"Who pays for your site then?"
"I do"
"You're mad. Good luck."
:)

"Generally though, the whole 'reciprocal links' thing really annoys me"

... for some strange reason when I read this I found myself thinking of some of the more intense attitudes towards LJ friends lists :-)

Absolutely. As a relative newcomer to LJ, the similarity in attitudes was very clear, and equally perplexing to me. I read someone's journal if it interests me - doesn't mean I expect mine to interest them. And vice versa.

Calling it 'friends' instead of 'readers' did add a lot of false baggage to the concept though. I like mhw's take on the subject (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mhw/140442.html) :)