Well, that's good, if it inspires the kid to try to be a better person (though not if taken so far so that the kid decides there's no point in trying to be a better person).

S.

Not really. Inspiring kids to be better through threats of loving them less is a great way to raise unhappy adults. A lot of counselling work (which I'm partially trained in) focuses on helping people identify and untangle these kind of guilt trips.

But inspiring kids to be better by making them aware that they will disappoint you if they aren't is exactly what a parent should be doing. Are there no situations where you are helped to do the right thing because you know that if you act wrongly you will disappoint someone you care about -- be that parent, friend, lover or child?

Anyway, if they're a bad person, guilt is the correct reaction. And the idea that people should be happy rather than good is a silly modern notion that can't pass soon enough.

S.