Recently I seem to have been going through one of my compulsive-misreading phases.

In the bathroom at someone else's house the other day, I saw a bottle of smelly stuff labelled "FOREVER IN BLOOM". I saw it initially from one side, so I could only see the first half of each line of text, and my subconscious was convinced it said "FORGED IN BLOOD", which is a little worrying given that I've always claimed not to be a goth.

Back at work, there's a bottle of whiteboard-cleaning fluid on my desk, containing the usual sorts of health warnings ("EYE IRRITANT", "HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED" and so on). My eyes managed to shift between two lines of text at just the wrong moment in that passage, leading me to wonder what on earth would be meant by "FLAMMABLE IF SWALLOWED"! Perhaps it's a warning that applies to Christmas puddings.