That's an interesting thought, I'd never really considered it like that, but it makes sense.

Of course, the relative difficulty can *vary*, I might very well say "I'd love to see you, but I'm afraid I don't have time to cook right now. Do you want to come round for takeaway?"

Come to think of it, whenever travelling comes up, it almost seems like the first thing is someone assuming the trip will be one way or the other, the two seem sufficiently different that they come to mind separately. I'm not sure why. For instance, someone might be visiting anyway. Or not think it odd to say "I'm visiting, can I see you?" and expect the other to invite crash-space, dinner, etc if they're free and not if not. Or to say "Please come and visit" and see if any time is arranged.

downright Hugh Grant vibe

I know what you mean. Often overly precise questions can turn out counterproductive, but I never know when in advance, I just see I've written something stupid, and then have to rephrase. Maybe make a suggestion, and let them counter with a different one if they prefer.

The only trap to fall into is if you're both polite, both want to see each other, but have different preferences, and hence in trying to outdo each other in politeness, keep offering solutions that inconvenience both of you :)