Mainly I just knew. But I also occasionally saw myself from the outside - my dreams often switch repeatedly from first-person to third-person perspective, as if I move from watching a film of the events, or playing a game, or reading a book - to actually being a part of them. One time I was a black woman, rather older than I am now, in a long-term relationship with an Asian woman; another time I was a small black boy, about 7 or 8. But I was always still me inside.