We discussed what to wear to your wedding before, didn't we, but I can't remember what we decided. You can if you wish of course choose some theme, fancy dress or something casual that looks pretty on large numbers of people. I guess if depends, do you want it to look formal? I think I'd like that, so would want something that works with that (eg. frilly shirts and capes or something), but if you didn't, you would have more lattitude in choosing.
Don't you like dancing? Why not?
Dancing alternate gender. Yes, mostly obsolete. It does serve a practical purpose, in that it most of the dances are designed for two rows of people and you can see at a glance which you should be aiming for. At least in Ceilidh in cambridge no-one bats an eyelid if you change sex, (especially if you're female), whereas in CDC no-one *minds* but because it's always inevitably two very good dancers showing off, it's not normal but cause for staring and applause :) And most people seem happy with most of the time dancing with the opposite sex.
Asking people to dance. Well, maybe somewhat obsolete, but it's a convenient way of (a) getting an even number of people mostly opposite sex on the floor and (b) allowing some discretion who you spend half of the dance with. Progressive partner dances are the exception; it's like asking someone to dance but only 10% as much, I don't think you need find them specifically. (c) Also, it's a nice way of socially interacting someone other than talking.
I am a geek
I believe the phrasing is supposed to be "Simon in 'is a geek' shock; read all about it!" :)
Transactional integity
As gerald duck says I assume it's implicit that "I do, provided they also do."[1] It always puzzles me that they never do this in fantasy novels.
Hero: I swear to [go on quest we agreed is more important than our differences] provided all the other people actually do swear Antihero: Mwahahaha! I don't! Now you have to go and save the world, whilst I shall be taking it over. Ha!
[1] Hey, I just had a scary thought. We have suggestions for their not being unique, at which point we need to wonder if they're supposed to be transitive, which leads to the question, are they reflexive? But [1] makes me wonder what on earth would happen if they weren't symmetric!
I can't speak for Simon but to me it looks like exactly the the kind of thing it takes me ages and ages to pick up, with lots of getting it hopelessly wrong and standing round wondering what I'm supposed to do next all the time.
Most of the time it's relatively easy to follow, your partner is nearby and/or holding you, and not too hard to recover if you get it wrong since you're mostly dancing with the same set of people.
The one dance that stressed me out at the ceilidh did so because it had a complicated phase where everyone was moving individually at the same time (which is much harder than having a fixed point of reference or someone to hold on to), because it changed what you had to do half-way through the dance, and because your couple moved to form a four with a different couple each iteration, and so I was responsible to different people each time for getting it right (or, er, wrong).
I looked in for a while but it all just looked far too complicated for something at the end of a rather tiring day. I am glad that people seemed happy, though.
I think I was lucky in that -- despite being uncoordinated and bad at following music -- my first ceilidh was really fun and never involved pain or embarassment, so I was motivated to come back. I do think it's much better than almost any other form of dancing in that you can *plausibly* join in first time, even if rather imperfectly.
(b) allowing some discretion who you spend half of the dance with.
Hmm. Perhaps I've been unlucky in only finding myself involved in the kind of dance where it doesn't make a difference then. *shrug*
Don't you like dancing? Why not?
As ewx suggests, part of it is that it's probably a lot more fun when you have a clear enough idea of what you're doing to be able to just enjoy it without constantly worrying that you're spinning round the wrong way, grabbing the wrong woman, stepping on someone's feet or just standing there trying desperately to remember what comes next.
Also, I think, the sort of big sprawling dance that involves every dancer being one cog in a large machine just doesn't hold much intrinsic appeal for me. I can at least see the point of a ballroom-style dance such as a waltz, even if I don't have the skills to actually do it, because it seems to me that dancing with a partner in that sense is a means of spending quality time with them which combines the good points of several sorts of activity: the bonding effect of any cooperative physical activity, the intimacy of a prolonged cuddle, and the pleasant feeling of having each other's undivided attention for a reasonable period (which is often hard to get any other way in a large social event). But a ceilidh-style dance doesn't really have any of those things in the same way, and I'm not entirely sure I see what it does have instead that makes it enjoyable.
Hmm. Perhaps I've been unlucky in only finding myself involved in the kind of dance
They're a minority, I'd actually like to see more of them[1]. It's mainly very confusing/annoying when you don't realise before you start, if either you would have liked to join in, or prefer to stick with a couple of people you started with you know will lead you round.
[1] I'm not sure why. I like meeting many people even if briefly. It has an intricate clock like thing going.
[dancing]
I feel sure there must be an RFC or something somewhere explaining "Why dancing is fun", if only in case we meet aliens and they all go "You do WHAT? To MUSIC?" :) You're right, if you haven't, it's awkard. I did ballroom for ages, and it's only comfortable when you can dance with people without checking if you know the same things first. It's perhaps lucky if someone takes you in hard and shows you a first few, easy dances; a partner who can show you in a dance where that makes sense can make it a lot easier.
waltz vs ceilidh
*shrug* To each his own. I like both, though I couldn't say why. Perhaps compare a ceilidh to socialising with a *group* of friends; while waltz is clearly superior for cuddling, celidh has more abandon and mixing. I don't know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Don't you like dancing? Why not?
Dancing alternate gender. Yes, mostly obsolete. It does serve a practical purpose, in that it most of the dances are designed for two rows of people and you can see at a glance which you should be aiming for. At least in Ceilidh in cambridge no-one bats an eyelid if you change sex, (especially if you're female), whereas in CDC no-one *minds* but because it's always inevitably two very good dancers showing off, it's not normal but cause for staring and applause :) And most people seem happy with most of the time dancing with the opposite sex.
Asking people to dance. Well, maybe somewhat obsolete, but it's a convenient way of (a) getting an even number of people mostly opposite sex on the floor and (b) allowing some discretion who you spend half of the dance with. Progressive partner dances are the exception; it's like asking someone to dance but only 10% as much, I don't think you need find them specifically. (c) Also, it's a nice way of socially interacting someone other than talking.
I am a geek
I believe the phrasing is supposed to be "Simon in 'is a geek' shock; read all about it!" :)
Transactional integity
As gerald duck says I assume it's implicit that "I do, provided they also do."[1] It always puzzles me that they never do this in fantasy novels.
Hero: I swear to [go on quest we agreed is more important than our differences]
provided all the other people actually do swearAntihero: Mwahahaha! I don't! Now you have to go and save the world, whilst I shall be taking it over. Ha!
[1] Hey, I just had a scary thought. We have suggestions for their not being unique, at which point we need to wonder if they're supposed to be transitive, which leads to the question, are they reflexive? But [1] makes me wonder what on earth would happen if they weren't symmetric!
The one dance that stressed me out at the ceilidh did so because it had a complicated phase where everyone was moving individually at the same time (which is much harder than having a fixed point of reference or someone to hold on to), because it changed what you had to do half-way through the dance, and because your couple moved to form a four with a different couple each iteration, and so I was responsible to different people each time for getting it right (or, er, wrong).
(S)
Hmm. Perhaps I've been unlucky in only finding myself involved in the kind of dance where it doesn't make a difference then. *shrug*
Don't you like dancing? Why not?
As
Also, I think, the sort of big sprawling dance that involves every dancer being one cog in a large machine just doesn't hold much intrinsic appeal for me. I can at least see the point of a ballroom-style dance such as a waltz, even if I don't have the skills to actually do it, because it seems to me that dancing with a partner in that sense is a means of spending quality time with them which combines the good points of several sorts of activity: the bonding effect of any cooperative physical activity, the intimacy of a prolonged cuddle, and the pleasant feeling of having each other's undivided attention for a reasonable period (which is often hard to get any other way in a large social event). But a ceilidh-style dance doesn't really have any of those things in the same way, and I'm not entirely sure I see what it does have instead that makes it enjoyable.
They're a minority, I'd actually like to see more of them[1]. It's mainly very confusing/annoying when you don't realise before you start, if either you would have liked to join in, or prefer to stick with a couple of people you started with you know will lead you round.
[1] I'm not sure why. I like meeting many people even if briefly. It has an intricate clock like thing going.
[dancing]
I feel sure there must be an RFC or something somewhere explaining "Why dancing is fun", if only in case we meet aliens and they all go "You do WHAT? To MUSIC?" :) You're right, if you haven't, it's awkard. I did ballroom for ages, and it's only comfortable when you can dance with people without checking if you know the same things first. It's perhaps lucky if someone takes you in hard and shows you a first few, easy dances; a partner who can show you in a dance where that makes sense can make it a lot easier.
waltz vs ceilidh
*shrug* To each his own. I like both, though I couldn't say why. Perhaps compare a ceilidh to socialising with a *group* of friends; while waltz is clearly superior for cuddling, celidh has more abandon and mixing. I don't know.