Strangeness in the kitchen
Anyone pointing binoculars through my open kitchen window a couple of hours ago would have encountered a rather strange sight: a software engineer industriously chopping onions, while wearing a pair of blue-tinted Speedo swimming goggles. I had suddenly remembered that I had these in a cupboard along with some very elderly swimwear, and decided in a spirit of experimentation to see how they worked as impromptu eye protection against onion vapour.
As protection, they worked pretty well; the onions I bought this week are of a type which usually produce a well-above-average quantity of noxious vapour, and yet my eyes didn't sting perceptibly at all. Unfortunately, they misted up rather quickly (which I'd always assumed was an effect of wearing them in water, but apparently not) and so my vision was significantly impaired; I'm not totally convinced it was a worthwhile tradeoff.
My goggle-impaired vision was particularly inconvenient while trying to work out what had happened to my garlic crusher, which decided today was a good day to die. I put a clove of garlic in, worked the handle as usual, and was rather surprised to find a whole clove of garlic arriving on the far side of the mesh. This is where the Speedo MurkyVision™ didn't help; if I hadn't still had the goggles on I probably would have noticed quite quickly that the entire mesh had broken off the frame and swung to one side. As it was I stared at the assembly in some confusion for several minutes before finally working out – mostly by touch – what was going on. This is now the second garlic crusher I've broken by means of what I thought was perfectly normal use, viz. using it to crush garlic. (Though the previous one was much more impressive, since the mesh basket was made of thick metal and yet somehow a normal garlic-crushing level of force managed to bend it so far out of shape that it never worked again.) I'm almost tempted to wonder if I've missed some vital point about how to use the things.
Still, a garlic crusher doesn't do anything that a sharp knife and some patience can't do in a pinch, so I got my food in the end. Phew.
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This is useful to know, but it also reminds me unpleasantly of things people say about giving birth, and as a result I'm very slightly squeamish about garlic.
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Leaving aside the above, I'm puzzled as to the connection to giving birth. It's better to cut the umbilical cord than hit it with a hammer? Caesareans are preferable to just squeezing the mother really tightly?
I know there's the cut/tear issue with episiotomies, but that's not quite the same as a cut/crush debate.
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Also unlikely to be flavourful, I would imagine. Or palatable, I should perhaps say.
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Interesting that they should still mist over significantly. Also, would not vision impairment also result from not being able to wear glasses with them (well, not really in a practical manner)? That would certainly affect me a lot as I'm incredibly short-sighted especially in the left eye (out of which I can see practically nothing over about a foot or so away) and it would be a pain to put on contact lenses every time I wanted to chop onions:-)
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Also on the fogging up thing, there is a spray you can buy which you spray on to the inside of the goggles / mask which stops them fogging up. I have no idea where you would get it here, but in European ski resorts it's widely sold (for ski goggles).
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I was going to ask if you could get prescription goggles and the like, but was scared of looking even more dense:-)
I wrote "googles" there initially. Almost not surprising.
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The usual way to crush garlic is:
You want the garlic centered across the blade, about two inches/5cm out from the handle. Also, make sure the sharp edge is facing away from you!
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It's something rather like this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0001IWZE0/qid=1121121143/sr=1-8/ref=sr_1_11_8/026-5744780-1670856
and works for onions, garlic, peppers, and anything else that's choppable. I am not affiliated with any gadget companies, but this has made a big difference to my life, so I thought I'd mention it.
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I'm always suspicious of gadgets advertised as being 'easy to clean', as they usually aren't, but this is quite easy - you can just rinse the blade under the tap, no need to take it apart. Though if you do want to, it unscrews with one turn.
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I appear to be incapable of seeing "goggle" without reading "google", now. )-8
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ROFLMAO. You owe me one new keyboard.
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For sulphurous onions, you can also try holding a piece of bread under your nose (apparently), but I find rinsing the onion quarters in water usually sufficient.
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This is easily proved by the experience I describe above: if wearing goggles stopped my eyes watering, it must be because the cause of watering eyes is something that can be prevented by goggles, and therefore breathing through nose or mouth is irrelevant.
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