I just don't understand the mentality of anyone who would drop chewing gum on the floor (or stick it underneath a table, or whatever). They might as well be aliens.
No, I hate the dropping litter thing. I chew gum but am always very careful to make sure it goes into a bin and not into the floor. I think the people who spit their gum onto the pavement are the same people who go around spitting in the street anyway (i.e. the ones who can't walk without drooling for some unappetising reason).
People are lazy and think that the world disappears when they personally can't see it. This theory is called "The magic place called Away".
Any place the subject can't see contains a wormhole that leads to a magical place called Away. Such wormholes are to be found on the road behind the subject's car, on the ground under the subject's feet, in any place the subject is about to walk away from (or, in a cunning twist of relativity, in any place that is about to move away from the subject, such as public transport), and at the bottom of everything that looks like a bin.
This is why believers in Away persist in throwing cigarette ends at cyclists, stacking rubbish in a bin that is obviously full and needs emptying, and never clean out the bottom of their own household bin even when something really hideous has leaked through the bag.
Recent hypotheses indicate there may also be wormholes to Away hidden under tables and chairs; this is inferred by the rarity of non-believers bashing their knees on the table. Thus chewing gum can be safely sent to Away by sticking it underneath a table in the same place that knees are supposed to go.
The general belief as to what happens to the rubbish once it reaches Away is a little vague; since it appears to be able to swallow such objects as cars and washing machines (and even, in the case of governments composed entirely of believers, buildings), many believe that Away is a parallel universe that was once right and varied, but all matter converged and it is now only inhabited by one large black hole.
There is some supporting evidence for this:
Our own universe may be an 'Away' for other universes less far along the chain of universe evolution; this explains the appearance for no reason of strange smells and the occasional discovery of plant species once thought extinct
The noise purported to be made by wood pigeons, which is often heard when there are no wood pigeons to be seen, and that funny noise made by machinery when you've oiled and cleaned every single bloody bit, may be manifestations of the Hawking radiation thrown out by the giant black hole in Away.
This last point is mildly worrying; if the Hawking radiation can make its way into this universe (albeit changing completely in nature from electromagnetic to acoustic radiation as it does so), would it then be possible for the objects sent to Away from this universe to one day come back as a solid wall of noise lasting hundreds if not thousands of years?
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I just don't understand the mentality of anyone who would drop chewing gum on the floor (or stick it underneath a table, or whatever). They might as well be aliens.
I don't understand people who drop litter either.
People are lazy and think that the world disappears when they personally can't see it. This theory is called "The magic place called Away".
Any place the subject can't see contains a wormhole that leads to a magical place called Away. Such wormholes are to be found on the road behind the subject's car, on the ground under the subject's feet, in any place the subject is about to walk away from (or, in a cunning twist of relativity, in any place that is about to move away from the subject, such as public transport), and at the bottom of everything that looks like a bin.
This is why believers in Away persist in throwing cigarette ends at cyclists, stacking rubbish in a bin that is obviously full and needs emptying, and never clean out the bottom of their own household bin even when something really hideous has leaked through the bag.
Recent hypotheses indicate there may also be wormholes to Away hidden under tables and chairs; this is inferred by the rarity of non-believers bashing their knees on the table. Thus chewing gum can be safely sent to Away by sticking it underneath a table in the same place that knees are supposed to go.
The general belief as to what happens to the rubbish once it reaches Away is a little vague; since it appears to be able to swallow such objects as cars and washing machines (and even, in the case of governments composed entirely of believers, buildings), many believe that Away is a parallel universe that was once right and varied, but all matter converged and it is now only inhabited by one large black hole.
There is some supporting evidence for this:
- Our own universe may be an 'Away' for other universes less far along the chain of universe evolution; this explains the appearance for no reason of strange smells and the occasional discovery of plant species once thought extinct
- The noise purported to be made by wood pigeons, which is often heard when there are no wood pigeons to be seen, and that funny noise made by machinery when you've oiled and cleaned every single bloody bit, may be manifestations of the Hawking radiation thrown out by the giant black hole in Away.
This last point is mildly worrying; if the Hawking radiation can make its way into this universe (albeit changing completely in nature from electromagnetic to acoustic radiation as it does so), would it then be possible for the objects sent to Away from this universe to one day come back as a solid wall of noise lasting hundreds if not thousands of years?1) For "right and varied" substitute "rich and varied"
2) Acoustic waves are not really rays. D'oh.