Villainelle

[simont]

I cannot choose the wine in front of me.
And yet I can't discount a bluffing play:
The wine in front of you it cannot be.

You think I'm stalling, but you must agree
That while I hope your choice you might betray,
I cannot choose the wine in front of me.

You beat my Turk, a fighting prodigy,
So you might trust your strength to save the day.
The wine in front of you it cannot be.

You beat my Spaniard very skilfully.
So you would put the poison far away:
I cannot choose the wine in front of me.

I know the poison comes from oversea.
Its origin enables me to say
The wine in front of you it cannot be.

I switched the glasses when you couldn't see!
Yet, unresolved, the paradox must stay –
I cannot choose the wine in front of me;
The wine in front of you it cannot be.

(With apologies to William Goldman. It randomly occurred to me in the bath that this particular poetic form and piece of dialogue were a strikingly good fit for each other.)

Comments

[oneplusme.livejournal.com]

That's quite the most obnoxiously sneaky pun I've seen all week. Bravo, sir!

[simont]

*grin* Yes, I was pleased with the title myself :-)

[pseudomonas.livejournal.com]

*grone*

[twigletzone.livejournal.com]

Bad person. No biscuit. :)

[hilarityallen.livejournal.com]

Simon!

[songster.livejournal.com]

<THWAP>

Fool.

Mind if I share this?

[simont]

Go ahead. Thank you :-)

[woodpijn.livejournal.com]

*grin* Very nice.

[antifuchs.livejournal.com]

That's just excellent work. Nice bit of synchronicity there: the theme music of Princess Bride was our wedding entrance theme yesterday (-:

[lnr]

What a great idea!

[isihac.livejournal.com]

You bad, bad man...

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, nearly, but too repetitive for a good villanelle. The secret to a villanelle is to come up with ways to repeat the words (or, you know, ish) while varying the sense. Otherwise it's just a poem written to a particular scheme.

S.

[lnr]

You *are* familiar with the original, right?

[(Anonymous)]

If it's the film I think it is, I've seen it once, yes. I'm not sure what you mean, though. Does that make a difference to it not having enough variation? Have I forgotten something in the film that makes the lack of variation appropriate somehow?

S.

[simont]

The speech I was adapting is repetitive in that way: Vizzini infers various things in turn about Westley's mental processes, and ends each inference with "so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me/you".

So yes, I hear you, it would have been nice to do some of the variation you describe. However, in this case, it came into direct conflict with retaining the sense of the source material, and I picked the latter. I'm not sure how I could have usefully added such variation without abandoning the whole attempt and writing a villanelle about something completely different instead.

[(Anonymous)]

You've already lost that ultra-strict repetition, though, because the two lines don't match.

Here's what I just threw together:

Choose the wine that sits in front of me?
Not I! But wait. Is this a bluffing play?
The wine in front of you it cannot be.

So now I watch, until some slip I see,
Some betraying glance so that I then may
Choose. The wine that sits in front of me

Is far from you, where poison ought to be.
Still, though, you think you're strong. Would you assay
The wine that sits in front of you? It cannot be

That complex, so I must not, you'll agree,
If I would see the sun go down today,
Choose the wine that sits in front of me.

You've brought this poison over land and sea.
Exotic fare indeed, and so I say
The wine that sits in front of you it cannot be.

This puzzle would stump greater minds than me:
Though doom awaits them if, foolishly, they
Choose the wine that sits in front of me,
The wine in front of you it cannot be!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, just noticed I rhymed 'me' with itself in the last stanza. Nasty. Sorry about that.

S.

[(Anonymous)]

(And 'be' in the third, but that's less of an issue because of the enjambment. The 'me' lines are both endstopped, which makes it harsh).

S.

[lnr]

The lack of variation is a defining characteristic of the conversation in question, I would have thought. Although your version is rather good.

[yvesilena.livejournal.com]

EPIC WIN!

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

This is utterly fantastic.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

quizzicalsphinx sent me. This is freaking awesome.

[imariistarre.livejournal.com]

The Villainelle and the Haiku are my two absolute favorite forms of poetry. I'm completely obnoxious about following the rules - you even kept yours to 10 syllables per line didn't you? And yet it reads well. When I try that, I end up using so many thesaurus synonyms that the poem makes no sense by the time I'm done with it LOL.