This time it was British Gas, who have sent a meter reader round to my house three times this week, but brilliantly did it during office hours every time; you'd think the obvious thing to try after a failure during working hours would be to try again out of them. Sometimes this sort of treatment makes me wonder whether normal-office-hours workers are actually an oppressed minority. But only briefly.

Anyway. Today's note said they needed to do a legally required inspection of my meter and I should call their 24-hour automated service to arrange an appointment. I duly dialled the number, got a menu saying ‘if you have a card-operated meter…’, pressed the ‘no I don't’ button, and found myself hearing a recorded voice telling me the office was now closed and I should call again during business hours.

Clearly this company doesn't understand the meaning of ‘24-hour’, ‘automated’ or ‘service’.

(As I write this, my brain has unexpectedly invented the word ‘Nonseal’, for things which do nothing remotely resembling what they say on the tin. Hmmm.)