Get up. Blear into bathroom to shave. Half way to bathroom, suffer attack of absentmindedness about why I was going there. Arrive in bathroom, squeeze toothpaste on to brush, insert brush in mouth.

About two nanoseconds after doing this, taste of toothpaste shocks me properly awake and I realise that now I have to miss breakfast since it would taste vile if I didn't. Quite why I couldn't have figured this out two nanoseconds before committing myself will be for my subconscious to explain shortly before it gets FIRED FOR GROSS INCOMPETENCE.

(A colleague of mine says that a friend of his apparently used to use this as a weight loss technique: after every meal, as soon as you think you've eaten as much food as you really need, get up and immediately clean your teeth. This will discourage you from continuing to eat, and as an added bonus you keep your teeth healthy too :-)

Still. I hope I can be more useful than that for the rest of the day, or I might do better just to go back home to bed…