*sigh*

Throwing parties is a very stressful experience.

Perhaps it would have been better if I'd chosen not to throw my first ever solo party on a Friday (with no time to recover from a long week at work), after spending nearly two months' worth of weekends working flat out on either PuTTY or moving house, and generally in a delicate sort of state. I suspect I was pretty fragile to begin with.

The thing is, as far as I could tell it was actually quite a good party; everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, nobody fell out horribly with each other (which my worry glands had been half-expecting, for no particularly good reason) and it was generally lively and fun. The last few guests got forcibly introduced to my silly PS2 games, which was kind of fun, and the party ended at the not unreasonable hour of about 2am.

Unfortunately, one or two mildly stressful things did manage to happen during the later part of the party, and shortly after the last guest left the combination of exhaustion, nervous energy, and those caught up with me and to my own great surprise I found myself crying into my pillow for about half an hour. That never usually happens to me, even under extreme provocation. Evidently I was a lot more exhausted than I'd thought.

What I really wanted at that point was to phone someone up so I'd have someone to talk to and let off steam at, but of course practically everyone I knew had just gone home to go to bed and my chances of finding anyone still awake didn't seem great. So I ranted into my private diary instead (not the same, but the best I could manage), and eventually managed to get to sleep some time past four.

Tonight there are two parties scheduled, and my plan had been to go to both. I'm no longer sure I'm likely to manage that; I still feel pretty strung out, and now I've lost half last night's sleep as well I'm not entirely convinced I'll make it to either. :-(