Strangeness in the kitchen

[simont]

Anyone pointing binoculars through my open kitchen window a couple of hours ago would have encountered a rather strange sight: a software engineer industriously chopping onions, while wearing a pair of blue-tinted Speedo swimming goggles. I had suddenly remembered that I had these in a cupboard along with some very elderly swimwear, and decided in a spirit of experimentation to see how they worked as impromptu eye protection against onion vapour.

As protection, they worked pretty well; the onions I bought this week are of a type which usually produce a well-above-average quantity of noxious vapour, and yet my eyes didn't sting perceptibly at all. Unfortunately, they misted up rather quickly (which I'd always assumed was an effect of wearing them in water, but apparently not) and so my vision was significantly impaired; I'm not totally convinced it was a worthwhile tradeoff.

My goggle-impaired vision was particularly inconvenient while trying to work out what had happened to my garlic crusher, which decided today was a good day to die. I put a clove of garlic in, worked the handle as usual, and was rather surprised to find a whole clove of garlic arriving on the far side of the mesh. This is where the Speedo MurkyVision™ didn't help; if I hadn't still had the goggles on I probably would have noticed quite quickly that the entire mesh had broken off the frame and swung to one side. As it was I stared at the assembly in some confusion for several minutes before finally working out – mostly by touch – what was going on. This is now the second garlic crusher I've broken by means of what I thought was perfectly normal use, viz. using it to crush garlic. (Though the previous one was much more impressive, since the mesh basket was made of thick metal and yet somehow a normal garlic-crushing level of force managed to bend it so far out of shape that it never worked again.) I'm almost tempted to wonder if I've missed some vital point about how to use the things.

Still, a garlic crusher doesn't do anything that a sharp knife and some patience can't do in a pinch, so I got my food in the end. Phew.

Comments

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

I have given up with garlic crushers, they never come clean and then they corrode and break. Sharp knife + practice.

[sheffers.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, they misted up rather quickly...and so my vision was significantly impaired

Interesting that they should still mist over significantly. Also, would not vision impairment also result from not being able to wear glasses with them (well, not really in a practical manner)? That would certainly affect me a lot as I'm incredibly short-sighted especially in the left eye (out of which I can see practically nothing over about a foot or so away) and it would be a pain to put on contact lenses every time I wanted to chop onions:-)

[timotab.livejournal.com]

best way to crush garlic is on a chopping board and a not-very-flexible bladed knife. You crush with the flat of the blade, point of knife is fulcrum (which you hold down firmly), clove of garlic close to fulcrum, adn then exert donward force on handle.

[keithlard.livejournal.com]

I hate chopping onions, so I got one of those miracle chopper type gadgets. Normally I despise kitchen gadgets, but this is excellent, because you just put it on top of the onion and press the handle down, and it chops it. Keep pressing down and the curved blade rotates, chopping the onion finer and finer, and keeping it all contained within the gadget, until you're done. No more stinging eyes!

It's something rather like this:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0001IWZE0/qid=1121121143/sr=1-8/ref=sr_1_11_8/026-5744780-1670856

and works for onions, garlic, peppers, and anything else that's choppable. I am not affiliated with any gadget companies, but this has made a big difference to my life, so I thought I'd mention it.

[gerald_duck]

The Internet has warped my fragile little mind!

I appear to be incapable of seeing "goggle" without reading "google", now. )-8

[new-brunette.livejournal.com]

The garlic presses which IKEA sells are excellent. Most sturdy construction, and you can even put the cloves in unpeeled, which makes cleaning them very easy as the residue comes away in one piece.

[tombee.livejournal.com]

The knife crushing technique mentioned above is what you want. Additional advantages are that you don't have to peel the beggars first, and you can do multiple cloves in one go. Flat of a knife will also break a bulb into cloves a treat, with practice.

For sulphurous onions, you can also try holding a piece of bread under your nose (apparently), but I find rinsing the onion quarters in water usually sufficient.

[vorno.livejournal.com]

Just chop onions whilst breathing through your mouth. Spit is the best anti-steamer for goggles. A sharp knife and a clove are soon chopped but you need to practice.