simont | (no subject)

‘What do you eat?’ I was asked the other day. This is not an uncommon thing to be asked by people thinking of cooking for me[1], but it's something I always have trouble answering coherently.

There aren't many things I really won't eat, so telling someone what to avoid is quick and simple. But sometimes people also want to know what I particularly like, and that's the bit I have trouble talking about. I think it's psychological: if I tell someone who's planning to cook for me that I like (say) parsnips, it feels as if I'm somehow morally obliging them to cook something involving parsnips, and that makes me uncomfortable because they're my host, not my servant. I feel a lot less uncomfortable once I've listed so many things I like that you couldn't possibly fit them all into the same meal (because then even my conscience can't believe I'm placing a detailed order), but getting over the initial hurdle is really hard.

On the other hand, if I'm not actually talking to someone who's imminently planning to cook for me, I'm perfectly capable of going on for ages about what I do and don't like to eat. I did this into a text editor yesterday, as an exercise, and I now have a three-page document describing my food tastes in ludicrous detail – which probably means it isn't suitable to be waved at people who ask me this question, because now there's so much of it that they'd lose the will to live half way through!

I wonder what a sensible solution is to this dilemma. I suppose I ought to be able to take the three-page document and ruthlessly edit it, but I'm naturally verbose and ruthless editing doesn't sit well with me…

[1] Interestingly, I don't tend to ask ‘what do you eat?’ myself, when it's me doing the cooking. I'm more likely to suggest a particular meal and see if it meets with approval; but that's probably just because I have a rather limited recipe collection.

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Approach the problemn from the other side - work out what you don't (won't/can't/don't like to) eat, as this is (IMHO) what people are usually meaning anyway.

For example, I hate baked beans, rice pudding and sprouts with a passion and won't touch them. I'm allergic to red wine + grapefruit, even food cooked with red wine (BAH!). I don't *like* most mash potato e(I'm funny about texture) but if presented with a plate full as a dinner guest, I'll endeavour to eat some if not all. I'm not a fan of baked potatoes for a similar reason, nor do I eat much veg given the choice, but I don't usually mention these are thy're the kind of thing you can eat a bit of or taste better than youe xpected or can eat round. That's a lot easier to type than what I *do* like :)

Er, sorry, have I missed something? At the start of my second paragraph I do mention that it's quick and easy to tell people what I really won't eat, but that sometimes people want to know more than that, and the rest of my post is concerned with those people. Are we at cross purposes somehow?

Ahh, possibly I ahve the wrong end fo the stick then. I don't think I know people who have asked that and actually meant that they wanted to know more. I think I would look really confused and say "anything that isn't in the previous list."

Ignore me :) I never make sense anyway.

Fair enough :-)

At least one person did insist rather strongly on knowing more, saying they had had bad experiences before with guests who said "oh, I can eat anything" and it had turned out the meal they cooked was entirely composed of things the guest only just tolerated.

For example, I'd feel somewhat unenthusiastic if someone served me a meal consisting entirely of courgettes, green lentils and white bread; but if any one of those ingredients cropped up in a meal that I otherwise liked, it probably wouldn't affect my enjoyment, so none of them would particularly occur to me as things to warn people to avoid.

tiggers eat everything except...

I'm more likely to suggest a particular meal and see if it meets with approval

I certainly prefer being asked about whether I eat a specific meal or not. It's easier to judge whether or not a person('s food) will make me ill if they tell me in advance what's being made.

Also, if the guest is bringing the wine, then telling them what you're cooking in advance can help them select an appropriate one :-) (Not that I know too many people who are that serious about wine, but it can happen...)

So, for example, I should forgeo usual practice and clear the menu with you beforehand, rather than just take the list of Becky-food-requirements I have and work it out from that?

Oh, no, not if you don't want to.

Anyway, I think that when you asked me, it was lent and that's a subset of the things I'm eating out-of-lent (the only ones I kept up properly since the end of lent are no chocolate and no caffeine, but they're an addiction thing as well as a tummy thing) and so would likely be moderately low risk to my tummy.

Reduce it to bullet points describing classes of cuisine you approve of :)

Rocking risotto last night, by the way :)

I'd love a copy, FWIW.

For me the question is easy to answer: "pretty much everything".

Oh, well, if someone actually wants to read it then I might as well post what I've got so far. Here you go :-)

Try to think of types of food/meal you'd like to eat instead? I mean, more general? e.g. "I like Chinese" (cue Monty Python song), or "I like things with pasta", or "I like salads". That way it's not so limiting on them if they do feel obliged to include those things. Or else perhaps make it explicit that you're not morally obliging them to cook anything in particular -- "I like $foo but really I'll eat anything (except $bar), cook whatever you enjoy cooking" -- and then if they feel morally obliged to cook $foo anyway it's hardly your fault.

I have this problem too as I'll eat anything except anchovies. :)

(If I'm doing the cooking I tend to ask what they don't eat and then suggest something in the light of that. But I too have a limited recipe collection.)

Interesting. Occasionally when people invite me for a meal they check what I eat. However, no one has ever quizzed me on my favorites. Its a shame more people don't check actually, because I've been expected to eat chocolate dessert recently, and I'm not having migraines just to be polite. But it could be because most people that know me know how much I cook, and so they figure that anything they cook I've probably done before.

Actually, after eating at my place, most people don't invite me round for food again. Not quite sure what that says. I hope it's good...

This is complicated. Um.

I think I would ask what they were cooking before I accepted the invitation. But then I really really don't like being cooked for unless there are at least three other people there.