What a charmingly positive response to a suggestion of how Simon might improve his quality of life: not only patronising but replete with snide accusations of criminal irresponsibility. Also, since as far as I'm aware (http://www.hmso.gov.uk/acts/acts1988/Ukpga_19880053_en_7.htm) the worst that can be imposed on you for cycling while drunk is a fine, I'm taking that as an urban myth. (Page in reference lacking column headings, but the column which appears to correspond to license endorsements contains no entry for the "cycling while unfit through drink or drugs" offence. Also mobbsy tells me he can find "nothing in sections 34,35,44,45,46,47 of the Act that suggests that a license can be endorsed for anything other than an offense which involves endorsement in Schedule 2").