Abstract things that annoy me

[simont]

The sentiment ‘it's not much to ask’, presented as the sole justification of why people should do something you want. When everybody has a ‘not much to ask’ request and they're all different (or, occasionally, when the same person thinks of a different one every week for a year), they add up until collectively they are a lot to ask – so some of them have to go unfulfilled, despite each of them individually being so small that the asker couldn't imagine how anyone might have a good reason not to do it.

Don't just point out that the cost is low and leave it at that. Show why the benefit (whether to you, to whoever you're asking for it, or to somebody else) outweighs it!

Comments

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

It annoys me for the additional reasons that:
1) It usually *is* much to ask
2) Surely it's up to the person of whom the favour is being asked, to know how difficult it is? I mean "It's not much to ask, can you buy some milk?" has an answer of "no, that's impossible" if the corner shop has just been the victim of a smash and grab raid, you are late for work and you've lost your keys.

[ptc24.livejournal.com]

Part 6 in a series, it seems. Why did you stop numbering them?

[1ngi.livejournal.com]

In my experience it's more often than not passive aggressive in action, and passing judgement if used in comment.

[kilinrax.livejournal.com]

I believe the correct response to be "That's true, it's not a lot to ask, but I'm not going to do it."

[hatam-soferet.livejournal.com]

This is what I now call "being a cake." Everyone snibbles just a little tiny bit off the cake, and before you know it you're left with just a pile of crumbs and you're standing there going "WHUT? where is my CAKE?"

[douglas-reay.livejournal.com]

I've only come across this in the context of a conditional:

"If it is not too much to ask, could you pick up some bread on your way back?"

Which I interpret as "I leave it up to you to decide how large a favour this is. I don't want to unduly trouble you, so if you'd have to go miles out of your way please DON'T do this for me, as I'd feel really guilty about it. My mental model is that this is something that will take me 30 minutes to do, and you 5 minutes to do; and I'm happy to do similar efficiency swaps for you in future. Feel free to say 'No' (or better yet, 'Sorry, I'm a bit tight on time this evening', or 'Sorry, I'm in a staying in mood today'), and I'll take no offence."


I too would be offended if anyone else presumed to tell me that something they were asking of me WASN'T too much for them to ask, implying that I was a stingy git if I said no.